January 2012
14 posts
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I would slap you, but that’d be animal abuse.
People who take their time pointing out every single imperfection in an individual usually have the most, themselves. People are so quick to judge on looks and how they act when they have yet to actually get to know the person better. Those people who are jealous, insecure, & constantly hating on others are those who have the most to hide themselves. That just shows you’re already better than...
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“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and...”
– Veronica A. Shoffstall
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New found love = Sleep!
I just love leaving reality and reaching new heights in a newly created dreamland. For those mere hours in my sleep state, I’m gone from reality and into a different world inside my head just for some time, I have no worries at all. I dream about having a life full of my wildest imaginations. Anything is possible and feels real inside my head. But it’s bittersweet, knowing that I will wake up and...
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Dear future "special someone",
Every aspect of my life is nothing less than complicated. Even trying to explain why it’s that way now is complicated. My life is so chaotic right now it’s probably better that I haven’t found you yet or maybe I have we just haven’t realized everything yet. Just so you know, it’s only going to get a little more busier than it is right now. But here’s something that won’t be complicated, my...
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Mindless thinking.
Sometimes at night I wonder how different things would be if one little thing never happened or happened in another way.
Has that ever occurred to you? Have you ever paused for a bit and thinked of stuff like, “What would have happened if…” and countless other What ifs? And it leads to one thing, and that one thing leads to another, and another, until you get something huge and something that...
I’ve been dropped so much
That i actually ask myself why I still try. Why I still go out looking for one person to fill this “void” that I want filled. It’s ridiculous.
I just want, someday, to again be able to think of something, and feel so much that it consumes me, and say with every bit of conviction that, absolutely no one and nothing could ever compare. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate that feeling you get before you cry.
Especially when you try holding it in. You feel this kind of ache in your chest and a lump in your throat. You try holding your tears back and try to focus your mind on something else. Something happy. Something completely different than the situation you’re in. But even though your mind is elsewhere, you can’t do anything to those, already progressing tears in your eyes. So you wipe them, making...
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"Are you okay?"
These three words used to form the question is the most frequent question that I get asked randomly. I like it when people ask me that question to check on my emotional status and well-being, because I know that they are looking after me.
I think that this question should be asked more frequently and is vital because it allows people to have an insight of other people’s standing. This...
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Dilemma
So I’m looking at my planner, and it’s filled with to-do-lists (schoolwork, work, and social outings). Anyway, I realize that I have a lot to do this year. It’s probably my most important year yet to date, talking academically. A lot of people told me since freshmen year that I have a lot of time to figure out and to know what I want to do with my life. But I have and I really want to be a...
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Don’t bite off more than you can chew.
It’s kind of nonsensical to do something out of your reach, especially when you’re torn and unsure if you can or can’t. Sometimes when I just know I can’t do something, I still do it. I don’t know why, but I keep going. I don’t want to turn away because I know someday I’ll regret doing so. I don’t want to forget because I don’t want to lose any chances. I don’t want to throw all the time and...
December 2011
14 posts
13 tags
COUNTDOWN TO 2012
New Year means nothing more than a calendar running out of dates. No matter how hard we try and convince ourselves things will be different in an instant, they won’t be. January 1st isn’t a day of magic. It’s a day when you wish that the next 365 days are the best days of your life.
2011 has been one of the most “interesting” years that God has blessed me with. I won’t say it’s been the best...
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My Top 11 TV shows from 2011
1. How I Met Your Mother
2. The Big Bang Theory
3. Modern Family
4. Chuck
5. The Voice
6. Gandang Gabi Vice
7. American Idol
8. New Girl
9. Fairly Odd Parents
10. Phineas and Ferb
11. How I Met Your Mother :)
Okay I don’t really watch TV. I usually just download stuff from the internet (torrent) or buffer videos.
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11 Music Favorites this Year 2011
Arranged in no particular order and mind you, this list is highly subjective. I will be uploading the rest of the lists (TV shows, youtube stuff, movies) and other personal favorites day by day as a countdown before the new year.
These artists/groups were there when no one else was. I can listen to most of the tracks and never get tired and most of these were stuck in my head as well and...
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11 Stunning Ladies That Rocked My 2011
Arranged in no particular order and mind you, this list is highly subjective. I will be uploading the rest of the lists (TV shows, music artists & groups, youtube stuff, movies) and other personal favorites day by day as a countdown before the new year.
These girls ruin my self esteem but they serve as my inspirations as well. Ironic much, but I do admire them. So bask in their beauty.
1....
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11 Gorgeous Guys That Ruled My 2011
Arranged in no particular order and mind you, this list is highly subjective. I will be uploading the rest of the lists (Girls, TV shows, music artists & groups, youtube stuff, movies) and other personal favorites day by day as a countdown before the new year.
1. Adam Levine
“Caffeine is like a really attractive girl that has nothing to say. You get all jacked up on it and then...
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Sometimes life is going to disappoint you over and...
You become sick & tired of the let downs, the bad luck, & the unnecessary. No one said life was going to be easy, God didn’t provide a “how to live life the easy way for dummies” & he also didn’t provide instructions on how to make life easier. Instituting high hopes into everything you do or believe becomes an easy way for you to get hurt or for others to hurt you, maybe not...
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Lessons Learned
For the past few months, I’ve been contemplating a lot. I’m starting to view life on my own, and I realized that it isn’t just about focusing on one thing. That was what I’ve been missing the whole time. I was just too focused on the negative things (mostly) that I forgot about the many things that are around me; the many things that I should be thankful for. It was never easy, especially when...
As crazy as it seems, I’m not falling out of love,...
Things happened so fast and it feels like you never existed though it gave me a very huge impact. Nevermind favorites, memories and all those stuff. I’ve felt loved, and that’s all that matters. The point is, you’ve been mine.
I always think to myself: I will try and I will do until such a time comes that I am content in the fact that you can be proud of having known me, of...
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“When one door of happiness closes, another one...
… But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Note to self: When one opportunity goes down the drain, I’m pretty sure there’s another one out there. Just don’t sob over the past because it no longer helps you in the present or the future. Just keep moving forward because therefore, your mind starts to look at the better things in...
I’m not gonna go the extra mile for someone who...
That goes for anyone, going “above and beyond” is only existent towards those people that really deserve it. I’m tired of people thinking I’m going to continue to just drop everything I do for them. In all honestly, if she genuinely cares about you and she proves and shows and tell you how much she does, you better not take her for granted. That girl right there is something else, you better hold...
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When they cry,
All their feelings inside of them are pouring out. Everything they’ve built up comes crashing down. The words they wish they had said start to rush out in sobs and the emotional pain they feel becomes something stronger.
When they’re hurt, they start to convince themselves that feeling that way is essential when it’s not. Although all wounds leave scars, they serve as reminders to not let...
November 2011
11 posts
I'm not the same anymore. I'll admit it; a lot of...
What’s going on with me? I never was the person to take things seriously and get hurt over little things said & done, but when I’m most vulnerable, like right now, anything could break me down - sarcastic remarks, meaningless jokes and all. What I usually do is, I just brush them off since most of the time they don’t mean it. But I can’t always hold everything in, I’ve already...
I feel like a 'toy', like an item.
When they wanted you, they worked hard to get you. Saved up every coin, did all their chores and homework, put in a nice word or two. Once they finally got you, they put you on their shelf at the place they made just for you. Dusted, wiped, clean, freshly painted. Everyone would come into their room and they’d point at you and say how great you were and how lucky they were to have gotten you, how...
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I’m tired of hiding behind this synthetic smile.
I constantly see people genuinely smiling. You can just tell how happy they are. It’s like there’s a beams of light shining through them; you can see it from their gestures, you can see it from their eyes, you can see it from their smile.
I sit helplessly alone, glancing around at all the bright lights dancing around me. I’m the glum stray among the group. I just need something to genuinely smile...
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And I find myself missing what we used to have.
Darn, I miss him. But if upholding my feelings for him will only get me hurt then I think it’s better to leave it this way. I told myself that I should be choosing carefully but then, it seems that I’ve become reckless with my choices again.
I miss the way everything used to be. I thought everything would work out fine between us but I was wrong again. Now, I feel that I am never good enough for...
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It seems like the simplest concept.
Just push everyone away, and you’ll never get hurt. However, the simplest isn’t always the most effective. Someday, someone is going to find their way in, and they’re going to leave you on your knees.
Through trial and much tribulation
You waste time and your money spent on a binge eating… or something that at least temporarily makes you feel stimulated. You begin taking out your frustration on those around you. Gain a couple pounds. Develop bigger bags and darker under your eyes. Break out and have pimples, not because you’re tired, but because you’re miserable so your body is metaphorically showcasing how life has punched you...
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“I wanted you to fight for me! I wanted you to say there is no one else that you...”
– Brooke; One Tree Hill
I wanted to tell you these. But nevermind.
We’re two in one baby, if you’re hurt I’m hurt, if you’re sad, I’m sad, if you’re happy then of course I’ll be happy. If you want to leave, I’ll still stick around. I have so much faith in us, you don’t even know. I’m just really heart broken and confused about this. I hope you thought about what to say, I have a whole bunch to say. I think we’re stronger than this. I just hope we can...
October 2011
10 posts
Why heart? Whyyyyy?
I could go on and on about how big of a jerk you are and how much you’re making me frustrated. But at the end of the day, you can bet your last dime that I’ll still thank God that you’re in my life.
Indeed, if you truly care someone, you can’t stay mad at them. As much as you want to hate them for what they’ve done, your heart won’t let you.
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I hear your heart call for love then you act like...
We hit turbulence!
There are things that hurt me everyday. Things that, if I let them, would take me down in half a second and bring me to tears, but every single day I fight because I don’t want those things to overcome me. Maybe I was made to be this way. Maybe I was born to fight. I’ve been in countless situations and I remember telling someone that, no matter what, I would always make it through because I don’t...
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The thing I fear most about relationships is getting all hopped up on infatuations high, then getting disappointed in the end with that short downfall. I think falling for someone like you this fast would be out of my mind crazy this point.
I fear that I’ll be a bother to you. I’ll become a nuisance and that’s the last thing i want. I want you to look forward to talking to me as I do with you.You...
Don't you just hate those nights when
Your mind suddenly starts acting erratically and you end up thinking of all these worst case scenarios, then out of no where, you’re depressed. No matter how hard you try to stop over-thinking everything, it just doesn’t help. The more you think about it, the more it stays permanent in your system. You keep asking yourself, why can’t your mind function, why can’t you keep all these bad thoughts...
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One of my biggest flaws that I just realized right...
Is that the consistency of my caring is weird. Sometimes I care too much to the point where I feel a bit too clingy. And when I realize that I’m being clingy, I tone it down a bit and eventually stop showing that I care which is also bad. I just want to even this out so I have enough balance to show that I care about you, but not to the point where I’m being a psychotic person that’s always going...
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September 2011
7 posts
5 tags
Ledges...
Sometimes, sitting on whatever ledge you find yourself on, you just want to tip over. Spilling over into the darkness and unknown would be so much easier than carrying-on the way you’re going now. Instead, you’ll turn back. You’ll pick up whatever weight you put down before arriving at the ledge and keep carrying it.
For what? Well, that’s for you to decide. But, try to remember, tomorrow’s...